Friday, 25 October 2013

Goodbye October

There isn't another month that I look forward to more than this one. For obvious reasons. Each year in October I realise that I am  wiser than before and that  there is hardly anything left for me to learn to be certified 'World Wise'. Every year! Since the past four-five years at least. Alas! Each  day has new things to teach me, and before I know it., I get through 365 days telling myself that I am not going to make the same mistake twice because I am wiser. I don't. I make Brand New Ones. I am happy for those mistakes (Proud even :) ) but I do wish that there comes a day when I can tell myself I did perfectly well. 100%.

This year was special. I experienced Autumn for the first time. October- Autumn ...been on my mind for really long. Finally did it. Loving it in Chicago. Next on my List - Autumn in Paris and Central Park!

Although I have hardly any idea about why I am here in Chicago in the first place. I could have waited until November. I could have managed from Mumbai this month.

Actually, I do have an idea why I am here, especially now, now that I am writing about it. Something tells me that I would have been miserable at the idea of a long distance relationship with USMLE  and in part  also the fact that everybody else is here too....not that I care but I guess I rest well in the knowledge that I am not missing out on anything in particular...although it is pretty-pinching money-wise :/.

Six days for the month to end. Pretty uneventful you are October. I don't really mind. :)

Love,

RS

Sunday, 6 October 2013

The Why's and How's of it all! - My Statement of Purpose

Belonging to a country with the 2nd highest Population across the globe, it has been an easy realization that a nation’s concern for a healthy future generation begins with child care.
Coming from a working class family, I had loving but strict upbringing. Being the only child in a joint family, I grew up in a comfortable environment. However, having witnessed children living in socio-economic disparities during my own growing years, I always wanted my career to have something to do with children's welfare.
My inspiration to get into medical school right after 12th grade, in spite of non-medico background of my family, simply originated from passion to learn more of the human body, illnesses that plague it and the modalities which treat them. That is how I as a 17-year old made a career choice based on a personal interest which motivated me to prepare for the competitive exam for entry in medical school. Within a year of being in medical school, it was becoming amply clear that I was at right place, as nowhere else would I have been equally happy. I found the rigorous daily routine of a physician interesting and challenging, rather than a compulsion of my career choice.  And that feeling continues to stay on each day. I had found my purpose there, an expansion of my happiness.
Throughout my graduate program, I liked my posts in Medicine, Pediatrics and Surgery the most. More so, the way each successive case and its presentation offered opportunities for incremental learning and chance for improvisation.
Pediatrics gave me a chance to go back to my childhood dream of doing what I had set out to do so unknowingly. Having had the opportunity to serve in a rural setup with a majority of patients coming from economically backward sections, it offered countless opportunities to make the difference that I always wished for. My rotations in pediatrics through all my years in Medical school as well as during internship gave me the deepest sense of fulfillment.
Each day in Medical school was an opportunity to learn something new. Just a few moments spent in educating a mother for managing her child’s health, more particularly in terms of compliance and follow-up, gives priceless satisfaction. After many a shift in the NlCU, I have noticed how something as mundane as monitoring the oxygen saturation in a neonate can spell the difference between a healthy child and one ridden with permanent mental handicap.
A few practical learnings that I gathered during my rotations in pediatrics will persist with me throughout my practice as a Pediatrician :
1. No two cases are the same, however similar they may appear,
2. Every child is reflection of the family it belongs to ,
3. The mother is always right, if she isn’t, then probably I as physician didn’t ask the right questions.
The traits I cultivated through all these years in Medical school have been more an acceptance of challenge rather than compulsion to cope with, be it going that extra mile for learning effective ways to function as physician, picking up important lessons from willing professors, obliging seniors and sincere friends who shared my zeal for learning and inputs from all-knowing nursing staff.
Aspiration to pursue higher education in the US originates from realization that an appropriate training during early stage of my career and at a right place will work miracles to the way I function as a professional.  Experiences during rotations at New York Presbyterian hospital, NY and Cook County hospital, Chicago have transformed the said aspiration into faith and re-affirmed my determination for getting trained as pediatrician. During the rotations in US, I trained under some of the best teachers I have ever come across, under sub-specialties of pediatrics such as cardiology, pulmonology, neurology, allergy / immunology and infectious diseases. It has indelibly changed the way I function as a physician .
Ever since my first day in Medical school, I wished to be the best physician that I could be. That and only that wish has carried me through various obstacles involved in studying abroad, giving me the strength to make life changing decisions for myself, and to tide over disappointments and difficulties. In retrospect, I know that as a medical student I had never imagined myself writing this Statement of Purpose. The fact that in spite of being focused, this  girl who was seemingly rendered clueless in face of countless uncertainties, has come this far, demonstrates that the mere ‘audacity of hope’, as Barrack Obama puts it, only can pave way for opportunities and  make apparently impossible dreams possible.
I strive to fulfil my responsibilities as a physician with full conviction that in its fulfillment I derive joy and contentment. I confidently visualize myself pursuing Pediatrics and following it throughout my life , with just as much zest as I had when I started out.
I am confident that an opportunity to pursue postgraduate education in US will transform me into a physician striving to maintain high standards, anywhere in the world, notwithstanding the adequacies or otherwise of infrastructure and magnitude of the patient population in resource-deficit developing nations.

"To laugh often and much,
to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children,
to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends,
to appreciate beauty,
to find the best in others,
to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch....
to know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded!"
(Emerson)

Tuesday, 2 July 2013

Beautiful Creatures

It isn't a twilight ripoff.  Its an amazing, well-directed, most naturally enacted , movie with an unpredictable storyline! Yeah, Its really unpredictable, I was wondering what would happen right until the end. Which is quite something for a movie enthusiast like me. So in that sense, its much unlike the last batman movie too. Kudos to the team . Cheers. You have yourselves a beautiful picture, with a good background score and no bullshit. A plain love story....not really! Fantastic - Yes,very much. Did I enjoy it? Absolutely. It left me happier. No cheesiness here. None. Very appealing!

Dreamt a little dream

So I dreamt I was in school again. My school. Same setting. Only there was lots of commotion and suddenly I was in a Big hall where they had arranged benches and desks. And everyone was sitting up on the desks. There was a teacher's table at the centre, on a platform. The students were not just my school girls but everyone that I had met through college and even on my electives. And there was to be a grammar test. And for a change I looked smart. Felt Smart. the monitor distributed the essay files to us and there was another file with our school mark-sheets in it. (I don't know where that came from) and a brown covered book. I was so engrossed in reading the matter in the essay book and the mark-sheets that I didn't open the brown book on my lap. The teacher announced that he hoped that we were completing the grammar test as per schedule. I wondered what he was talking about cos I didn't see a grammar test . The girl next to me was scrambling around with her files and was filling some form. I thought that maybe the form was the test. I decided to fill it up ( I always loved filling forms, especially the ones with little boxes in them). Ifinished it and then the teacher who was supposedly a guest teacher, an expert in Grammar, walked up to me , asked me if I was done. I showed him the form and guess what he asked me for the brown cover book which had the questions in it. And I was clueless. He signed incomplete on it and wrote me a remark on the first page of the book. Much to my chagrin. I told him I would submit it to him before he finished correcting the grammar books of the rest of the class because I knew I was so good at it and I wouldn't take much time to finish it off.

then it started. My pencil fell down. I crawled below the desks to take it and it had rolled so far so I had to crawl for a bit. and someboby's  foot landed on my shoulder from above and stamped my shirt. I was so annoyed at the girl above, I shook her foot off me. And she decided that was rude of me. And then the teacher came to look who was below the desk and gave me the "you're so messy and fidgety and up to no good"  reprimanding speech. Embarrassed. And when I stood up, I was the silly old plump teenager again and Not the cool girl at the beginning of the dream. So bad. Bridget Jones moment.

So I guess I had a really embarassing time growing up in High school, And I feel as if not much has changed now except that I am a little more guarded now and am careful not to look like a dork. Although I am fully capable of being a dumbo without working too hard at it.

So much for looking smart at the start of the dream and then ending up as the same old dotty me.

Saturday, 29 June 2013

If She'd Known



So if my fourteen year old self would have known that she was going to be here at 24, I guess , She'd be amazed. Surprised. She had an imagination but she never trusted the future. Always wanted too many things but was unsure if she was wishing for the right things. She and I are not quite different. It would take an awful lot for her to believe that she is going to be me in a decade. I wonder if she'd done things differently had she known .Would she be a little more confident, a little more worldly,  a little more carefree, And just a wee bit conscious of herself? I remember her sitting on the swing on the grounds one too many late evenings, all by herself, ( she wasn't lonely, Its just that she loved to be by herself on the swings) and doing her big thinking! She did that quite often . And after planning it all out and soaring high up and above, she would rush home to tell mum about what she planned to become. She wanted to be too many things then. But more importantly she wanted the sky and she wanted to go to too many places. She almost wanted to be here. She saw it differently. She always thought of dramatic situations that she'd be in and being the hero in the scene. She still does all those things. I am she and She is I, but  We are both a lot different from each other.Its like she lives inside me. And everytime I rediscover some forgotten dream or lost pleasure, She revels. the smiling girl there isn't me, its her. She was waiting to come out and be me. She did. It took her an awful lot of time, but she'd always been slow at metamorphosing.

Ten yrs from now, I wonder where I will be. I have a feeling I want to be something, but I am still on my way. I wonder what the thirty four year old me would say to the present  me. I wish her a satisfied journey. I wish she looks back and says that she didn't regret being me! I wish she finds what I am looking for. And I hope she looks forward to the journey ahead.

Saturday, 8 June 2013

What a wonderful world

And suddenly all is well with the world again, the sun shines, the birds sing, and I smile!

Tuesday, 21 May 2013

Chicago

Well...this one was unexpected. Never thought it would happen. I planned for it all of a sudden but as it goes for all my plans, I thought this one wouldn't work out either. Guess what, it did. I was in Chicago....It filled me with happiness since the moment I got here. I knew I would love this place more than I loved NYC. I feel at peace. I belong. I will leave this place soon but I will leave with happiness in my heart. I am sure. A rare feeling of satisfaction. I love Chicago. There aren't too many reasons why. I can't explain it but for all this while....I have been here...this place hasn't felt one bit alien. NYC was great but not once have I felt as calm and quiet as I did here. love it.

Thursday, 18 April 2013

Love

I love most of the people I meet,

Sometimes more than I like myself,



Although I love myself a lot, all the time,

And in my dictionary Love is to care a lot about someone and to enjoy smthing very much.I have many Loves in my life, I love them with all my heart. For me Love is to be honest, Caring enough to not hurt them and being there unselfishly when they need me always.

Then there is another sort, the one that is romantic,
Its pretty chemical, and Chemicals have too short a half life for me to include their effect in my definitions,

Although I do believe that there is someone for each one whose company whether momentary or for a lifetime evokes a sense of complete satisfaction with life for all that while that they are together.Its mutual, its beautiful and its not chemical.
I have never felt that feeling ever,And many a times when I feel something completely new , I wonder if that's it....soon I find out, I know, it isn't.
It might pass me by, I might be too closed up to realise, but I hope I figure it out while I am here.I believe in it. I see it in a million

things. And I know it's out there somewhere.

Wednesday, 27 March 2013

Lois Lane



Huge fan of Erica Durance for playing Lois Lane. I never liked any of the Lois' so far. And I am neither a superman enthusiast nor do I have any knowledge of how she is actually portrayed in the Actual Comic book series. But this lady in Smallville, She has it all. Gumption, Strength, Charm, Wit , (Good dialogues!!!) and plenty to do too.  Rescuing the superhero. Way to go girl!!!!!

Loving Smallville. It might also have something to do with Tom Harding but I am rooting for girl power here so I am going to focus on that right now!

And while am at it, Lana's not so bad herself.In fact, She's awesome .Chloe's no less a supergirl either. .Chloe-Lois-Lana - They are different but they are all brilliant characters and definitely strong clear headed girls.



And I know quite a few in real life too. Role Model variety. Kicking Ass, Speaking their minds, Working Hard, Keeping their Heads in the right place and keeping it COOL!

Friday, 8 March 2013

For the first time on my own - In the Library

I love the library here at WCMC, and like being by myself here.

Never loved being in a Library so much. Even though its not that warm  (temperature wise.)

Now this post is inspired by my evenings at 2 different reading rooms back home and how different they were from this place.

The library back in Med School.  Initially, in the first year of med school, we used to be in herds. always together, kind of to prevent being accosted by Seniors. Then came second year, Nice. We had this feeling of having passed a huge obstacle but being the geeks that we were, the library was now sort of full of us and we were still in a herd, a smaller one though and that herd remained until the final year and even during internship. The Highlight, we did tea breaks together. Not just the tea, but Lunch, Tea, and Dinner and ofcourse the post dinner one hr back again.  That kind of made our day. And every time one of us stood up, we'd make sure we'd stop by each others seats and have a quick hello-hi ,this-portion-is-so-vast-i-am-going-to-die conversation. Kept us happy.

The other library was the one near home. And guess what, we had pretty much managed to stick together too. So it was a bunch of old friends and a couple of new ones doing lunch, tea, and in between snacking together.  Loved it.

Now, at WCMC, which happens to be my favorite as far as productivity goes, I concentrate like never before. But when I have to leave my seat, say to grab coffee or to the washroom., I simply don't know where to look. Straight ahead. Not a single smiling face. Happens in a place where you are the temporary.I have grown wise enough to not let this get to me, it just kind of pushed me to write.

Its notable though that most people I notice here are actually by themselves. Maybe in Twos at the most but never more. I haven't seen a Ru, Shru, Rutu, Rids, Miko, Dipu anywhere or for that matter (had to mention this group too) Ru, Rutu, Chak, Pri and the surprise package of  Guest Appearances by Shru. Seems like they simply don't exist here. I think we were really rare. I don't know how much studying I used to get done but really, those were one of the best days of my life.

Anyway, I like it here because I do study well. and as far the Friends go, they are right where they need to be, in my heart.

Cheers to Studying.

Rucha

Saturday, 2 March 2013

Wow...I love this one...Yes...I am Old Fashioned :)

I am Old Fashioned-Rita  Hayworth and Fred Astaire

Me...I think I love me (I am Selfishly Narcissistic at times,I know!!)

I am Rucha Shukla

I am very middle class, average...Haven't done anything exciting for more than a year...haven't been excited too many times in all my life..I lead a boring life...Love my friends...And Its only been 6 -7 years since I met them  so I was far worse than this before that....I keep falling in and out of Love with people without their knowledge....And I find it extremely convenient that way because it spares me the trouble of going all the way in any particular direction....I love to run away from things...I like to believe I am capable of changing the world if only I could change my habits first which I think is too much trouble....I get distracted easily and how I wish there was some kind of profession where I could use it to my advantage...I Love movies...I look to them for inspiration, gratification, happiness almost everything..I am old fashioned...I cannot dance....I am always bordering between slim to slightly plump....I am glad I got over my pimply teens...I love the idea of marriage...but it scares me to death to be thought of as somebody's wife....I love to jabber all the time......I am not virtuous but I don't know how to lie and that is not because I am miss Goody two shoes...its only because I lack the tact....I doubt myself sometimes...I put up the show that I am all smart and all that but I am not...I am a geek...who loves to gossip...write a million things about herself but never share it unless she's looking for appreciation in which case she shows her work of art to the ppl she knows that will appreciate it...I get amazed when ppl who don;t know me unexpectedly praise me and I most usually think that they are lying...and I wonder why because I am the last person on this planet who could do anybody any kind of good...Bloody!!!!!

Monday, 18 February 2013

Impossibilities! maybe not, we'll see.....



This started out as a list of Impossibilities but turns out I am not as hopeless anymore and maybe like a certain Alice, I need to believe that impossible things can happen....if only I can believe in them enough...enough to achieve them. The numbers on the list do not signify their importance in my life, as each of these have meant as much to me as the other at some or most points in my life!

  1. Getting a Paeds Residency in US.

  2. To start a health care organization especially for children (but not just for) in India that grows into a multinational model for health care which functions on the basis of bringing equitable world class healthcare across all sections of the society, starting it as a prototype in India and then taking it to all the places around the world that need such equity.

  3. Learning to speak my mind

  4. Making perfect presentations.

  5. Learning to be perfect in all my endeavors, to be at the top of my job...to ace at it..

  6. To always be open to learning something new

  7. To be organized

  8. To never be tensed...rather be calm in situations that demand stress...be proactive about it and not get tired until it is all but done.

  9. Perfecting my communication skills

  10. Remember key concepts that I learn at the right time

  11. Being able to express the fact that I may not be thinking anything or have something smart to say in a situation

  12. See myself play a role in changing the system of Medical Education at home

  13. be a part of a local self government initiative

  14. Have my own Mobile Health Unit

  15. Manage to speak fluent French and Spanish

  16. Learning to read Japanese and Chinese

  17. learning to play ping pong and lawn tennis and chess

  18. Play one tune on the guitar...just one!!! is that too much?

  19. Going to Japan

  20. Reaching the BMI of 20

  21. Going to Africa and spending time at a rural hospital.

  22. To start or contribute significantly to a non profit organization that caters to children in need all over the world

  23. Finding a place which is backward as far as the health situation goes and going there as a volunteer.

  24. Learning to keep my list of Wants as close as possible to my actual List of NEEDS

  25. Speak my mind..When my opinion is asked..however Rude / Cynical/ Emotional/ Stupid/ Clueless it may seem...Speak up...I don't Lie...but I am afraid that my perception of truth may not be correct...and that might hurt someone's sentiments..but guess what....If I am asked...I need to Speak...the exact thing on my mind...and I may admit that i am unsure and may need to revise my opinions!!! I wonder If I will ever learn that!!!

  26. Ever coming back to New York again, or going back to Paris either

  27. Ever Liking myself in a picture

  28. Ever completing a Task at hand on time

  29. Being there for my friends when they need me

  30. Start Yoga and Maintain it for one whole year ( work on that schedule)

  31. Stop watching movies all the time

  32. Ever be able to actively participate in other people's  jokes...even though I get them and find them amusing too!!! Its like I get stuck because I wait too long too react!!!

  33. Ever buying my dream apartment with my own money

  34. Ever going on that All Europe Hike....

  35. Raising a couple of children or maybe just one nice kid...I am not sure

  36. Bungee jumping...

  37. Skiing....

  38. Surfing...

  39. Swimming.

  40. Wine tasting!!!!

  41. Head banging at a Live Rock Concert

  42. Ever making it for my closest friends's weddings

  43. Owning a beach front property

  44. Falling and Staying in Love and sharing my life all into old age with just one boy who loves me just as much.( a boy because deep down I will always be more of a girl than a woman)

  45. Making and keeping my parents happy


*This was the original post script that accompanied this list ---{*Might edit this List to add new things that crop up in my Head......But never take things off the List...Just maybe Strike them off to show completion of some sort....Some of the things will sort themselves in a yr or two and will be classified as Impossible for a lifetime....the rest...m giving a max. of 5 yrs to be classified permanently impossible!!!}

P.S. Well, I had established a few ground rules about the list but I  guess I don't need any as long as I promise myself to edit this list only when I am in a calm contemplative mood and not add or take off or strike off anything on an impulse!

Monday, 21 January 2013

See you soon

I love to write and I haven't written in a while.....a week more and I'll get back to you dear blog ...I promise.....:)

Monday, 19 November 2012

Liberty

I just happened to read a news post just a little while ago that kinda led me to write this little post....I don't have much time but lest I forget about what I feel...and the feelings pretty strong...so here goes.......
Citywide Shutdown as a Political Leader passes away of Old age - One may perceive this to be less  of a gesture of solidarity and more of an unspoken fear about the repercussions of not complying with the expectations of a group known for its destructiveness...One may only perceive it to be that way...not necessarily believe that...I mean times are bad...and its alright to forgo a day's business worth of money than jeopardize the Entire Business itself...from whatever danger that running it on such a day may pose...Am I too politically correct? I hope so...sincerely...Life's tough as it is...Wouldn't want more!!!... So I too show my Solidarity....I too am a common man. I too bow as a mark of respect. YEAH.

Girls arrested for expressing their sentiments about the Close down on a networking site -   The I.T. Act huh......but we teach our children the Right to Freedom of Expression in our sad Textbooks...Sorry kids...Go with the flow...Yours views, if different from the populist opinions could land not only you but your entire family into trouble...Truckloads of it... Hypocrisy....never mind...

Vandalism - I don't blame the people who do it..they are poor...they get paid for it...Maybe some are unemployed...some could be dead drunks or good for nothing ( at the risk of sounding disrespectful but really guys...no offence)......but poor...they have my sympathy...Not because they destroy public and personal property but because they have to do something so ghastly to feed themselves.

I always wonder who pays them though and why their names never end up in the Paper....

While there are those of us who can silently guess.....There are a quite a few people out there who don't have the time to sit and think...And why is that? -  because the administration has created a situation where the common man is too busy to sit and think about such things......So busy earning a living....Trying to go from one day to another.....Making it work for himself and his family. This guy (or girl for that matter) has the right to know the truth......And as a truly responsible person, he reads the paper in whatever little spare time that his schedule leaves him with.....but sadly.....there's not much the paper can tell.....The press is censored.....so he'll never know....He'll just have to make do with whatever edited , censored news that bearers of truth bring to him, rationalize it and get on with his day.So much for Liberty.

Yours Truly,

RS



Thursday, 15 November 2012

My Favorite Kind of People

I Love having Happy people around......People laughing around with Family.....People getting married......People going places......Kinda rubs off on me too......Sure life is full of troubles....Sure we have to take tough times.....But sometimes just running into old friends or hearing from them or meeting people who you know like you...Especially the Happy Old People.....makes you happy.......makes you smile......That's what makes Diwali Happy.....

P.S. I wish People didn't burst Super Loud Crackers.......Just the Firework display is enough to feel happy....and a right bit of sound to make it happening..You know children laughing, the crackling of fireworks, the excitement - gives me the feeling that all is well with the world...but....the loudness just takes away the feeling....leaves me a bit too shaken...... to feel anything at all.... Even Happiness.