So if my fourteen year old self would have known that she was going to be here at 24, I guess , She'd be amazed. Surprised. She had an imagination but she never trusted the future. Always wanted too many things but was unsure if she was wishing for the right things. She and I are not quite different. It would take an awful lot for her to believe that she is going to be me in a decade. I wonder if she'd done things differently had she known .Would she be a little more confident, a little more worldly, a little more carefree, And just a wee bit conscious of herself? I remember her sitting on the swing on the grounds one too many late evenings, all by herself, ( she wasn't lonely, Its just that she loved to be by herself on the swings) and doing her big thinking! She did that quite often . And after planning it all out and soaring high up and above, she would rush home to tell mum about what she planned to become. She wanted to be too many things then. But more importantly she wanted the sky and she wanted to go to too many places. She almost wanted to be here. She saw it differently. She always thought of dramatic situations that she'd be in and being the hero in the scene. She still does all those things. I am she and She is I, but We are both a lot different from each other.Its like she lives inside me. And everytime I rediscover some forgotten dream or lost pleasure, She revels. the smiling girl there isn't me, its her. She was waiting to come out and be me. She did. It took her an awful lot of time, but she'd always been slow at metamorphosing.
Ten yrs from now, I wonder where I will be. I have a feeling I want to be something, but I am still on my way. I wonder what the thirty four year old me would say to the present me. I wish her a satisfied journey. I wish she looks back and says that she didn't regret being me! I wish she finds what I am looking for. And I hope she looks forward to the journey ahead.
