Lincoln

"With Malice toward none.

With Charity for all,

With Firmness in the Right,

As God gives us to see the right,

Let us strive on , to Finish the work we are in."

- Lincoln

Beautiful Creatures

It isn't a twilight ripoff.  Its an amazing, well-directed, most naturally enacted , movie with an unpredictable storyline! Yeah, Its really unpredictable, I was wondering what would happen right until the end. Which is quite something for a movie enthusiast like me. So in that sense, its much unlike the last batman movie too. Kudos to the team . Cheers. You have yourselves a beautiful picture, with a good background score and no bullshit. A plain love story....not really! Fantastic - Yes,very much. Did I enjoy it? Absolutely. It left me happier. No cheesiness here. None. Very appealing!

Dreamt a little dream

So I dreamt I was in school again. My school. Same setting. Only there was lots of commotion and suddenly I was in a Big hall where they had arranged benches and desks. And everyone was sitting up on the desks. There was a teacher's table at the centre, on a platform. The students were not just my school girls but everyone that I had met through college and even on my electives. And there was to be a grammar test. And for a change I looked smart. Felt Smart. the monitor distributed the essay files to us and there was another file with our school mark-sheets in it. (I don't know where that came from) and a brown covered book. I was so engrossed in reading the matter in the essay book and the mark-sheets that I didn't open the brown book on my lap. The teacher announced that he hoped that we were completing the grammar test as per schedule. I wondered what he was talking about cos I didn't see a grammar test . The girl next to me was scrambling around with her files and was filling some form. I thought that maybe the form was the test. I decided to fill it up ( I always loved filling forms, especially the ones with little boxes in them). Ifinished it and then the teacher who was supposedly a guest teacher, an expert in Grammar, walked up to me , asked me if I was done. I showed him the form and guess what he asked me for the brown cover book which had the questions in it. And I was clueless. He signed incomplete on it and wrote me a remark on the first page of the book. Much to my chagrin. I told him I would submit it to him before he finished correcting the grammar books of the rest of the class because I knew I was so good at it and I wouldn't take much time to finish it off.

then it started. My pencil fell down. I crawled below the desks to take it and it had rolled so far so I had to crawl for a bit. and someboby's  foot landed on my shoulder from above and stamped my shirt. I was so annoyed at the girl above, I shook her foot off me. And she decided that was rude of me. And then the teacher came to look who was below the desk and gave me the "you're so messy and fidgety and up to no good"  reprimanding speech. Embarrassed. And when I stood up, I was the silly old plump teenager again and Not the cool girl at the beginning of the dream. So bad. Bridget Jones moment.

So I guess I had a really embarassing time growing up in High school, And I feel as if not much has changed now except that I am a little more guarded now and am careful not to look like a dork. Although I am fully capable of being a dumbo without working too hard at it.

So much for looking smart at the start of the dream and then ending up as the same old dotty me.

If She'd Known

So if my fourteen year old self would have known that she was going to be here at 24, I guess , She'd be amazed. Surprised. She had an imagination but she never trusted the future. Always wanted too many things but was unsure if she was wishing for the right things. She and I are not quite different. It would take an awful lot for her to believe that she is going to be me in a decade. I wonder if she'd done things differently had she known .Would she be a little more confident, a little more worldly,  a little more carefree, And just a wee bit conscious of herself? I remember her sitting on the swing on the grounds one too many late evenings, all by herself, ( she wasn't lonely, Its just that she loved to be by herself on the swings) and doing her big thinking! She did that quite often . And after planning it all out and soaring high up and above, she would rush home to tell mum about what she planned to become. She wanted to be too many things then. But more importantly she wanted the sky and she wanted to go to too many places. She almost wanted to be here. She saw it differently. She always thought of dramatic situations that she'd be in and being the hero in the scene. She still does all those things. I am she and She is I, but  We are both a lot different from each other.Its like she lives inside me. And everytime I rediscover some forgotten dream or lost pleasure, She revels. the smiling girl there isn't me, its her. She was waiting to come out and be me. She did. It took her an awful lot of time, but she'd always been slow at metamorphosing.

Ten yrs from now, I wonder where I will be. I have a feeling I want to be something, but I am still on my way. I wonder what the thirty four year old me would say to the present  me. I wish her a satisfied journey. I wish she looks back and says that she didn't regret being me! I wish she finds what I am looking for. And I hope she looks forward to the journey ahead.

What a wonderful world

And suddenly all is well with the world again, the sun shines, the birds sing, and I smile!

Chicago

Well...this one was unexpected. Never thought it would happen. I planned for it all of a sudden but as it goes for all my plans, I thought this one wouldn't work out either. Guess what, it did. I was in Chicago....It filled me with happiness since the moment I got here. I knew I would love this place more than I loved NYC. I feel at peace. I belong. I will leave this place soon but I will leave with happiness in my heart. I am sure. A rare feeling of satisfaction. I love Chicago. There aren't too many reasons why. I can't explain it but for all this while....I have been here...this place hasn't felt one bit alien. NYC was great but not once have I felt as calm and quiet as I did here. love it.

Love

I love most of the people I meet,

Sometimes more than I like myself,



Although I love myself a lot, all the time,

And in my dictionary Love is to care a lot about someone and to enjoy smthing very much.I have many Loves in my life, I love them with all my heart. For me Love is to be honest, Caring enough to not hurt them and being there unselfishly when they need me always.

Then there is another sort, the one that is romantic,
Its pretty chemical, and Chemicals have too short a half life for me to include their effect in my definitions,

Although I do believe that there is someone for each one whose company whether momentary or for a lifetime evokes a sense of complete satisfaction with life for all that while that they are together.Its mutual, its beautiful and its not chemical.
I have never felt that feeling ever,And many a times when I feel something completely new , I wonder if that's it....soon I find out, I know, it isn't.
It might pass me by, I might be too closed up to realise, but I hope I figure it out while I am here.I believe in it. I see it in a million

things. And I know it's out there somewhere.